I suddenly find myself, at the grand old age of 67, to be much more self concious, more aware of a softness of my body, a lack of tone, as my battle with time becomes more apparent. As Steve took these snaps, I felt a coyness perhaps, as I struggled to reveal the truth of myself.
How foolish to be shy in front of him, but really it was because I knew I felt awkward to reveal myself to you.
...as one pose unfolded after another, I relaxed, realising how silly it was to hide when my intention was really to share with honesty what a 67 year old body looks like.
You can read my discomfort here, the awareness of that gooshy tummy, those lumpy thighs - what am I doing?
Trying to hide and reveal at the same time, to feign confidence, wishing that my body wasn't telling this particular story.
I'm nothing if not honest and this post has to be one of my most honest this year. I owe you my honesty simply because you're interested enough to show up. Thank you. I could easily have edited this post to show you glimpes, nothing that revealed how age and motherhood have impacted on me, but trickery isn't what I'm about.
The fact of the matter is that I love our beach days. I love the feeling of the sun on my skin, the freedom a bikini offers, the illusion of still being beach body ready. I'm probably hyper critical, but I have ridiculously high standards in most things - that's who I am.
And thank God for Steve! He's never tried to dissuade me nor cajole me, but has always supported my choices of subject and outfits, allowing me to test myself, express myself even if it might feel uncomfortable. Will this be my last bikini shoot? Only time will tell.
Anna x
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